I Can’t. Can not. Can’t.

I can’t pay the phone bill.
I can’t pay the rent.
I can’t buy pre-paid credit.
I can’t get more than $200 for my car, it seems.
I can’t even keep the driver-side car door closed.
I can’t use my car.
I can’t keep the house clean.
I can’t get more than one load of washing done in a day.
I can’t get a job.
I can’t cook dinner.
I can’t get my head clear.
I can’t stop  freaking out.
I can’t hit anything or hurt anybody.
I can’t stop.
Make it stop.

This moment is bad. Anybody who wants to give me ‘be positive advice’ can f*ck off, or get me another prescription for xanax.

don’t you think it’s time?

I walk towards a billowing sunrise
Her skirts blow gently upwards, revealing the true colours of the soul of Dawn

Majesty has found me, once again, with or without my lover
Always with a friend

You were right to trust me, and not
For the day waits for no thing, and I am nothing

I am called from the heavens by my secret name
And He knows me
More than you ever will, I’m sorry, my love

When this is all over, I shall go to be with him
But sometime I will see you, then, walking the paddocks of heaven
And we shall wave and kiss each other on the cheek in meeting
For we know not what we do

Til then, my lover, friend, be still
Greet Dawn as she beckons you to her horizons, and travel beyond
Behind the undiscovered places that He created for no one
But you

Be still my love, be still