Thank God it’s Monday?

This last week has been incredibly stressful.

Firstly, my car battery died on me twice in one day (before work and then after work), resulting in being frozen while I waited at the NRMA meeting point, and paying $160 for a new one. That was my money towards flights to Melbourne to see Cam all gone.

Then my sister, Liesse came down to visit. It was lovely to see her, but picking her up from the airport meant being lost in Sydney for 2hrs when I tried to get back home, which I didn’t get back to until 2am. Cos of this (and a couple of other late nights) I didn’t pick Liesse up to hang out til midday the next day, and we spent a lovely few hours driving through old haunts of our childhood. By the end of the day though I was way too tired to go to church with her, so she went by herself and I had a comparatively early night. I worked Saturday and it was an immensely stressful. I left work an hour late, and we had been meaning to go down to Richmond to get this really good pizza from Aldo’s, but she had decided during the day that she wanted to go to a thing on at the church instead. Fair enough, didn’t bother me at all. But when I eventually got in (after being in a d&m for an hour or so) I was completely not in the right frame of mind, so I went home and picked her up later. I was up again at 5am this morning to leave by 6.30am to get her to the airport before work this morning. The 2 1/2 days she was here, I’ve spent about 10 hours with her, half of that driving her to and from the airport. I’m sorry Liesse, I feel so bad.

Work was crazy yesterday, and again today. So many customers, not enough staff, full of problems (try getting 7 of the same phone back in the one day, some of them had already been replaced once or twice and were back again for a third time) and my stuffups (putting returns through wrong, having $600 too much cash in the till etc.).

Today, for the first time since I’ve arrived, I thought ‘I just want to move back home’.

I have no friends here and I can’t deal with this alone. Talking over the phone or internet just isn’t the same. I miss — everything, you, all of you.

I’m about to go crazy, cry, scream or self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1……….

this is my new address

It’s been exactly a week (well, technically it’s 2.42am, so I’m over by a few hours, but whatever) since I arrived in the Blue Mountains, Sydney. I figured it was about time to update my blog.

I’ve been staying at my godparents place since last Friday, and tomorrow I move just up the road to Bullaburra in a beautiful little set of units that are more like terrace houses really. They are built down a slope, have big balconies, lots of plants, very Italian. I love it. The downer is that I think the mobile reception there is REALLY crap, so I’m not sure how my wireless is going to go. I may have to look into some alternatives.

Work started with a bit of a staff training/get together on Monday night. On Monday I started coming down with the flu, and by Tuesday (my first working day) it was raging full force. Of course, I didn’t want to call in sick on my first day. Or on my second day (even though I’m in the shower at 6.30am feeling like puking and fainting at the same time). So I battled through it for the four days, and tomorrow I finally have a day off (though there is no rest for the wicked, between moving and food shopping and *fingers crossed* getting some foils done in my hair to cover up regrowth). I think I might just have to settle for the moving though if I plan on getting some decent shut-eye. The fact that it’s already quarter to three isn’t exactly genius.

So anyhow, work is going well, I’m moving to my own place, I have my pretty new car, the scenery around here is absolutely gorgeous. The only think that I’m lacking is good, close friends. There are so many experiences and adventures I want to have, but nobody to share them with. I guess that will come in time though.

I’m going to Melbourne to see Cam in two weeks, I’m so excited. And Riss I will see at Christmas time, Jarrad hopefully before Christmas. To everybody else that wants to visit, just drop me a line!!!

Listening to: The Beatles
Eating/Drinking: Nothing
Wearing: Denim skirt, blue singlet, black hoodie/cardie, pretty necklace
Mood: A little excited, a little lonely and a lot tired
Thinking: I’m glad I cut my fingernails, now I can type properly again!
Wishing: I had my close friends around me
Question of the Day: What causes warts?

Growing into Amanda

It’s always been a name that I’ve shunned, Amanda.

It’s only ever been for legal purposes that I’ve used it. Even my mum hasn’t called me Amanda since I was about seven (no, not even when I’m in trouble). The last year or so though, I’ve been getting called Amanda (which to me sounds so formal, so unlike my personality) a fair bit, mostly by people I don’t know very well. Cam’s entire family called me Amanda for a time, and while I wasn’t pissed off (like I used to get when people made that mistake), it definitely didn’t sit right with me.

Even Cam called me Amanda on and off for a while. I made a bit of a deal out of it at the time, again, not because I hated it, but it just felt weird.

The other weekend I was at a friend’s party in Brisbane. It was a brilliant night, all these Samoan, Maori, Fijian and Vietnamese mixes dancing – it was a scene out of Step Up or some dancing movie for sure. I felt like such a white girl (and in actual fact I was one of only two). The point is though, that for most of the night I got called Amanda. And you know what? For the first time in my life, it felt like it almost fitted. Not completely, but like a glove that you’ve got on four out of five fingers, it was almost right.

So who is this new personality that is emerging into Amanda? I thought at first that she might be another one of my alter-egos, but on reflection I don’t think she is. I think she’s part of me, ingrained in me, hiding in me. I hate to say it, but I think she might even be the writer part of me.

That scares me.