Messy Brains

My head is a mess right now. There is a bit of a long story.

Our manager at work is leaving. It was decided (or so we thought) that Cam would step up from full-time to manager, I would go from 25hrs to full-time, and the other casual Sarah would go from her 15hrs to my 25hrs. Perfect for everybody, right? This had been discussed with the State Manager and everybody seemed in agreement. New rosters had even been done up.

Then the bombshell.

I had to interview for the full-time position. Okay, that’s cool. I understand it’s company policy sometimes to do that sort of thing. I had to compete with about four other people. Okay, that’s strange.

Then Cam had to interview for the management position. With competition.

He didn’t get it. It went to some marketing manager chick. Apparently she’s really nice, and that’s great and all, but now because Cam is staying as full-time, I am staying at my current hours and so is Sarah. Not happy, Peter. I’m just dirty that the interviews were sprung on us out of the blue when we thought that everything had already been decided. Grrrr.

So because of this I have to resort to plan B or (newly formed) C because right now I’m barely getting enough money to pay bills.

Plan B – Get an extra job on the days I don’t work at Telechoice, and/or at nights. I was thinking 15-20hrs at a video store or something (cos that would be great getting free rentals). Other (not as good) possibilities include: bottle shop, pizza delivery driver, nightfill, kfc etc. I don’t really want another retail job because it would be annoying having two jobs that are similar, and also it means that they would want me to work Saturdays and I already work Saturdays at Telechoice. Honestly I don’t really want two jobs. Unless it’s the video store one. One would be preferable, I think.

Plan C – I was talking to Bridgette (my manager, the one that who is leaving) and she was saying that I should go work on resort islands. She did it for years when she was younger and had a blast. She said that even housekeeping and basic jobs like that aren’t that bad. You work during the day, party at night and have a holiday on your days off. Apparently you meet heaps of new people and live this incredible life. The company she put me onto, Voyages, has 21 resorts all over Australia (mostly in northern Queensland and the outback, with a few in Tasmania and central Queensland etc.) and once you’ve worked in one place for six months you can transfer to another resort. It’s brilliant. There is really cheap live-in accommodation in staff villages and most of them provide three meals a day, again very cheaply. There are staff common areas, staff bars, staff internet access, access to all the resort facilities, plenty of day trips to go on, heaps of discounts, all sorts. The benefits are great. I would love to do this, the only problem is that I would probably have to go by myself, which I’m a little scared of doing. Cam would like to do it too, but he wouldn’t want to move before the end of this year. Myself, I’m ready to move at a moment’s notice.

So what do I do? My head is a mess, mainly cos I’m tired. Today has been a bit strange for me. I was exhausted and a bit grumpy ’til about one o’clock today, and then came the news about the job and everything. I’m juggling options, wondering how much I would miss everybody if I went to some remote place for six months (or more), if I could move straight away or how long I would have to wait, if it’s worth just getting another job, which job, trying to convince myself that it’s not that scary to get an extra job…. it hurts.

I’m also devastated that I have to miss T’lia’s party (I f&@!#*g misread the invitation and thought it said Sunday instead of Saturday. Of course I work Saturdays and don’t have anybody else to take my shift). I feel so bad because I keep backing out on the jazz club, poker nights and now this. I know she said it was just shitty, and it was okay ‘cos there was nothing I could do, but I still feel like crap.

*sigh*

If anybody has any input or direction, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

Listening to: Damien Rice
Eating/Drinking: Just finished a cup of tea
Wearing: Pj’s, fluffy dressing gown and my ballet slippers
Mood: Sad
Thinking: About my options
Wishing: I didn’t have to deal with this
Question of the day: Why is there always a con side to everything?

So I was thinking (uh oh)…

… about how people define ’success’. It kind of led on from a conversation with Sarah the other night about things that we want to accomplish in order to claim success.

I was having a conversation tonight with Maggie and my parents about futures and what both Maggie and I are doing and how we’re going where we are and that sort of thing. Maggie is very ambitious – she works hard, gets places fast and will do so until she’s accomplished great things and will then relax and enjoy life because she has earned it. For her, owning a home, driving a nice car, climbing the ladder etc. is important. This to her is success.

I, on the other hand, have just decided to postpone university until further notice to pursue the nomadic life. I’m going to get a van, travel round where and when I want, doing nothing particularly except taking in the world and all the experiences I can get. I believe I this will make me very happy, and for me, happiness equals success.

How does everybody else define success? I’m interested to hear.

Listening to: Dashboard Confessional (Dusk and Summer album)
Eating/Drinking: Nothing
Wearing: Jeans and my new green pirate top!
Mood: I don’t really have a mood at the moment. I’m currently moodless
Thinking: I should get changed into my jammies and go to bed
Wishing: I can’t tell you
Question of the day: Who invented the concept of musical notes and sheet music?

Today, I look like a druggie.

Please note that I said LOOK not AM.
I haven’t worn makeup in three days (I haven’t had to work, and it’s my first baby-step for transformation into hippie naturalness), and my hair needs to be washed tomorrow. I have dark circles around my eyes (even more so than my usual black-eye look) – I don’t think I slept well last night, and hence I’ve been rubbing my watering eyes all day. I look like a junkie. Lol.

On the upside, my music collection has expanded a fair bit, thanks to a brilliant program called BitTorrent. It lets you download entire albums at once (and even discographies of artists, so you get all their albums at once). The off-peak data usage has taken a bit of a battering. I think I’ve increased my iTunes by over 3Gb in about two weeks. In my collection are bands/artists such as: Brian McKnight, Damien Rice, Alice Cooper, INXS, John Mayer, Hellogoodbye, Yann Tiersen, Crowded House, Depeche Mode, George Benson, James Blunt, Lily Allen, Sandi Thom, Relient K, Nickelback, Live, The Kooks, Chicane, Counting Crows, Dido, Enya, and more. Some of these are albums of artists I already own, ones that I’ve heard bits and pieces of and want to hear more of, or ones that I’ve never heard their music and wanted to see what all the fuss is about. I love downloading free music.

Tonight I watched the Oprah ‘The Secret’ special that was replayed on prime time TV. I actually own The Secret DVD (after being shown it by my dad) and it really is amazing. They are principles that I have used before, but not used on a consistent basis. The good thing is that I have proven them to work before, so it’s not a matter of whether or not it is true, but more an issue of whether I can apply them to my life every single day. If you haven’t seen it, get your hands on a copy of it. You can buy it from Nexus Resources for about $60 including postage and handling. I’m going to watch it again on my laptop tonight before I go to bed and let it turn through my mind while I sleep.

I also put up all my Europe paraphernalia today, around my walls and cupboards and doors. Cam’s first reaction when I showed him was ‘Woah’. And it’s true, it is very ‘woah’, but I like my room like that. “It’s very you,” he said. So true. I love having a clutter of ’stuff’ that inspires me, and reminds me, and makes me smile. It’s comforting to remember those times, for the most part.

Anyway, I’m heading off to bed now so I can watch The Secret and then go to sleep.

Listening to: Damien Rice (first hearing, brilliant! I love it. Thanks to Larissa – I pinched it off her Myspace music list)
Eating/Drinking: Nothing. I wish I had chocolate though
Wearing: Brown skirt, purple top, pink jiffy-style ballet slippers
Mood: Tired and somewhat weary
Thinking: I should write the blog about Liesse that she wanted me to do
Wishing: I could fall asleep right now
Question of the day: If you get a really sore lower back and it’s kind of stiff and it hurts to bend or move, and it happens every few weeks, what is it?

I’m going to be a hippie

So on Friday night I headed down to Ballina with Cam to spend the weekend with his family (since I didn’t have petrol to get to the Sunshine Coast – sorry Mum!). His grandparents, parents, sister and her boyfriend (who was the only one I hadn’t met before) were all there and they’re all really nice. On Saturday me and Cam went for a drive around Ballina, through Lennox Head to Byron Bay which I’d never visited, and funnily enough was actually written down in my diary as a goal for this year! So thanks Cam for helping me achieve a goal!!! Today we went to The Channon Markets which are kind of like Eumundi, but more hippie-ish. That was fun, although next time I’m going armed with $$$! We went to the beach this afternoon so that Cam could take some slow-shutter shots he was after, and it was so nice to be back at the beach, paddling in the waves and walking along the sand. I haven’t done it in ages. It makes me feel like a child again!

The northern NSW beaches are sooooo beautiful. Honestly, I love Noosa, but the Sunshine Coast has got nothing on the beaches that side of the border! It’s all beautiful and grassy and tree-y and then there’s a few rocks and then sand. Cliffs everywhere, beautiful rockpools, and did I mention the grass and the trees? I have fallen in love with the beaches in that area. It reminds me so much of when we used to holiday in South West Rocks when I was a kid.

So out of all of this came a decision.

Next year, I am going to be a hippie. I am going to travel, gypsy style. I’m going to finish this year out on the Gold Coast, pay off as much of my bank loan as I can (it currently stands at just over $10,000 so it’s not too bad), and then start my wanderings. I’m going to sell my Volvo (gasp!) and get a van (looking at a Ford Transit, Toyota Tarago or Mitsubishi Delica) and stick a bed in the back of it. I’ll travel from town to town as I please, when I please, work in bars/pubs/cafes/restaurants (I’m going to get my Responsible Service of Alcohol before I go) and live like a hippie.
Yes, this means that I’m considering dreadlocks.
Yes, I will still shave my legs and armpits. I promise.

Unfortunately this means that I have to withdraw uni until further notice. I’m actually quite disappointed at this, because I genuinely enjoy my uni course, and would happily study full-time if it was financially viable. I don’t currently have the discipline for distance education (and am not likely to gain this discipline any time soon!) and so I see no other option.
I am however going to make myself knuckle down and write (I think I’ll start reworking my travel journal from Europe, as well as blogging here) and also teach myself Italian from the language CD set (expensive!) that I bought a couple of months ago and have listened to twice so far. This should keep my brain busy while I go full-time at work (in about two weeks) for the rest of this year.

So these are my new plans. Work. Sell car. Buy van. Become a hippie. Travel. Enjoy the amazing experiences that come of it.

Note to self: find out just how unhygienic dreadlocks are.

Listening to: Cars driving along the highway (although I have Dashboard Confessional stuck in my head)
Eating/Drinking: Peanut butter on toast
Wearing: Pj’s (winter ones… mmmmm, warm….)
Mood: Dreamy
Thinking: How much money can I pay off in 7mths?
Wishing: I was already a hippie
Question of the Day: Who actually came up with the idea to smoke different plants to see which ones got you high?

Header this!

Oh. My. Goodness.

Okay, so after two hours (slow, painful) work in Photoshop (not only am I a beginner in Photoshop, but I’m also adjusting to using a tablet), MY LAPTOP DIES!!!!

Yes, I know I deserved to lose my work because I didn’t save it at all during that time, and I am aware of the fact that after a couple of hours of not having the power plugged in, my computer battery is going to die.

It was still frustrating though. *sigh* Will I ever learn?

So I sat down and re-did the header, in half the time it took initially, and I’ve uploaded it and am very proud of it. Luke is tweaking the font a little for me (thank you so much! You’re lovely!) But I am very proud of my handiwork.

I’m tired, and so about to go to bed I think, but I needed to put my artistic brilliance out there so that everybody can admire the greatness that is Mandy.

Ciao.

Listening to: Big Brother Up Late (yes, I know, sad)
Eating/Drinking: Nothing
Wearing: Pj’s
Mood: Very tired
Thinking: I need to go to the bathroom
Wishing: My friend Alex was online
Question of the Day: What’s the best flavour of two-minute noodles: Chicken or Beef?

Numero Uno

Thanks to Talia , I now have this blog.

Are you wondering what to expect from this little piece of webspace? I’m not exactly sure myself. I guess I’ll finding that out around about the same time you do!

I do promise though that soon there will be some random information about me, and that I will at some point be transferring my travel journalling (from my five weeks in Europe) on here… the good, the bad, and the ugly (and the hot guys and the bad hair days and the funny accidents and the strange incidents and the…..).

It’s 3:02am and I really should be going to bed. I don’t actually work tomorrow, so it’s not that big a deal, but I’m a little too brain dead to be thinking much about an in-depth blog right now.

(What is a non-dorky yet highly original way of signing off a blog? If someone finds out can you let me know?)

Listening to: Instinct – Crowded House
Eating/Drinking: I just finished a malted milk.
Wearing: Pj’s
Mood: Getting a little tired.
Thinking: Why haven’t I gone to bed yet? Oh that’s right, NO WORK! Woot!
Wishing: I could be back in Italy right now.
Question of the day: What was the name of the man that shot John Lennon?